Sickie Surrogates

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My whole life is lived online. All that exists in the physical realm is a slightly overweight, exhausted middle-aged woman with just enough energy to jab at a keyboard…..but online.. I’m a REEEEEAL GIRL!!!

‘Surrogates’ was a 2009 American science fiction movie set in the future starring Bruce Willis and Rosamund Pike. It’s about a world where people live their lives free of pain, danger and complications through robotic representations of themselves, called surrogates. The ‘real’ them lays on a kind of dentist chair wearing an eye mask to control the surrogate robot twin – a younger and better-looking version of themselves.

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Vote ‘yes’ to legalise pet marriage!

My cat Humphrey is keen to marry me.

Here in Australia we are currently busy trying to work out if gay people have the right to be married, which I happen to think is a no-brainer, what I’m really interested in, something worthy of debate is passing a law allowing polygamous marriage to one’s pets.

My knight in shining armour seems to have been delayed by a few decades, and temping in his place have been quite a few retards in tin foil. While I’ve been patiently waiting, I seem to have accumulated quite a few cats and one dog. If he doesn’t show up soon, I’ll either be senile or dead (and probably eaten by my pets).

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Clucking Over it

It was never my intention to become an advocate and a first-class-whiner for Invisible Chronic Illness, but I’m freaking over it. I’ve been invisible and stuck at home now, for a year and a half – I’d say climbing the walls but the truth is that just sounds exhausting.

No, I’ve been here at home researching and soul searching for the meaning in it all, darkest before the dawn and all that shit, but there are times after weeks of relentless crappiness where I come crashing down and I just want to yell out (and in fact do yell out), “FAAAAAAAARRRRKKK!!!!!!”

Up until now, I’ve only really been able to offend the ears of one flatmate and four cats. But it recently occurred to me that I could be banging on about it to literally thousands of people on the internet. Why should I suffer in silence I ask you?? No more. Sick Chicken has a voice. She will be loudly clucking on about her plight until such time as she gets better or she gets the axe. Long live Sick Chicken!!