Welcome, to all you sickos, you fakers, you lazy gits who spend all day doing ‘nothing’ in your dressing gowns while the rest of the world is hard at work paying taxes and being extremely useful. Welcome to this page all who are too ‘sick’ to work and socialise (but not too sick for Netflix). I believe you. Thousands wouldn’t. But I do.

On my journey through Invisible Chronic Illness, I went from being funloving and adventurous to a freaking boring, hypochondriac, prize sooky-la-la.

Then one day I woke up, drank down my revolting green smoothie, ate my chia-seed-pepita-coconut- yoghurt, juiced two bunches of celery and as I headed off to meditate, I thought, you know what? Fuck this.

And that’s how Sick Chicken was hatched. I do these things because I know they’re good for me, and I want to feel well, but please believe me when I say, if I could have it any other way, I’d be hoofing back a Big Mac and Coke faster than you could say ‘diabetes’. I am the ultimate ‘RELUCTANT HEALTH NUT’.

This blog is where I let it all hang out. Acerbic and irreverent, my alter ego Sick Chicken says what we are all thinking. Let’s face it, when you’re chronically ill, housebound and your idea of fashion is a ten-year-old dressing gown with Weetbix stains down the front, those Mary Poppins, unicorns-pooping-rainbows sites about good health and meditation annoy the shit out of you.

There are no real answers out there; it’s all the same regurgitated claptrap that doesn’t even touch the sides when it comes to people really suffering chronic illness. It is what it is my friends. I’m not minimising your pain or my own, and I hope we all get better, but can I just be the first to say that invisible chronic illness is a freaking lonely road, paved with idiots who think we are interested in their unsolicited opinions. “You don’t look sick”. Yes, and you don’t ‘look’ stupid, but..